Dave's uncool feeling leaked to the Internet
by PrincessTemari
Summary: My name is Dave Strider and I have fallen in love with my best friend. Good thing no one will ever read this uncool feeling of mine. Dave/John, hint Karkat/John, Karkat/Terezi ((Based on actually parts of my life)) THANK YOU SO MUCH, TEA for HELPING WITH THIS. My awesome Tea is disapprovalfish
1. Chapter 1

My name is Dave Strider and I have fallen in love with my best friend. I could have any girl in the world, hell even some guys want me, but the one person I want has totally un-ironiclly friend-zoned me forever. My best friend, John Egbert, was not a homosexual, and reminded me of that fact almost everyday. I have known him for three crazy years. We met online when we were 13 through one of mutual friends, Jade. How Jade knew both of us is still a mystery to me even after all this time. I didn't get to see John everyday, so I not sure when my attraction to him first started but I totally un-ironiclly loved him, every dorky ass bit of him. John lives in Washington, while I live in Texas, making it difficult for us to hang out in person, so we converse online over Pesterchum and Skype. At this current moment, I am waiting for him to get online. After only a few hours of him being away, I must admit to actually missing him. Good thing no one will ever read this uncool feeling of mine.

turntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist

TG: sup

EB: dave!

EB: watching Con Air.

EB: the best movie ever.

TG: you and your nick cage movies

TG: you have the gayest crush on that man

EB: hey!

EB: he's an awesome actor.

EB: and no homo.

TG: i know bro

TG: you tell me too many times to forget

TG: and here i thought i had a chance

EB: you don't have to fake flirt with me when you can get any girl in texas.

EB: by the way, why don't you have a girlfriend dave?

EB: or are there too many swooning over strider ass to make a decision?

TG: yes hot babes are throwing themselves at me all day i cant get rid of them

TG: but i do have my eyes set on someone

TG: special

EB: hehe dave has a crush.

EB: what does she look like?

TG: perfection

TG: kinda dorky

TG: but hot as hell

EB: wow dave. i didn't know you were into nerds.

TG: not nerds

TG: just one

EB: why don't you ask her out then?

TG: the one person on this whole planet that isnt into me is the one i fall for

TG: its like fate is against me or some shit

EB: oh man, that sucks.

EB: you should ask her out to see a movie. as 'friends.'

EB: use that strider charm you are always going on about.

TG: my sexy ass strider charm is not enough in this endever

TG: different states

EB: i'm challenging your strider charm.

EB: hehe

TG: are you sure your not gay

TG: that giggle makes me think youre lieing to me

EB: man

EB: not cool.

TG: you wouldnt lie to your best bro now would you

TG: so whats your excuse for not having a girlfriend egderp

EB: ...

EB: well

EB: i have my eye on someone. it's just...

TG: what

EB: it goes against everything i think i am.

TG: is she a stripper or some shit

EB: what?!

EB: eww. no.

EB: well... it's someone at school.

EB: we have homeroom together.

TG: is she hot

TG: she better be like a fucking goddess for my best bro

EB: oh yes.

EB: amazingly hot and smart. famous too.

TG: a model

TG: or youtube famous

EB: youtube.

TG: so she is a stripper

EB: fuck you Strider.

TG: anytime you want egbert

EB: haha. your ego is showing.

TG: whats her name/youtube channel

EB: RomcomRed

I search for the youtube channel, found it with ease and played one of the videos. RomcomRed was an angry dude complaning about life.

TG: dude

TG: you have lied to me all this time

TG: you are so homo

TG: come out of the closet

EB: ...only for this one.

TG: ...

EB: i promise.

TG: i know...

My best bro promising me that he would never love another guy almost made me, a fucking Strider, cry.


	2. Chapter 2

ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead

EB: dave! this is terrible.

EB: oh man.

TG: did you come out at school

TG: does everyone know youre gay or is just me

EB: just for this one!

EB: and no. i did not come out at school.

EB: dave, i have no hope.

TG: neither do i

TG: what happened

EB: he has a girlfriend.

EB: i saw them together before class.

EB: i was going to go talk to him...

EB: but there was this girl there talking to him.

EB: and he kissed her...

TG: you never actually told me his name

TG: is he new

TG: youve never mentioned this kid before

EB: karkat.

TG: strange name

EB: we never had the same classes before this year.

TG: so this kid who complains about everything

TG: breaks your heart and still he gets to go to class with you

TG: man i am so jealous of this prick

EB: i wish you were here dave. i need my best friend.

TG: i know you do

TG: everyone needs the Dave fucking Strider

EB: i wish you were here to distract me from this.

EB: i mean. i'm on speaking terms with him, but he doesn't see me that way.

TG: oh i could definatly distract you from everything

TG: i mean as a bro

TG: ...no homo

((fuck my life. why didn't i just tell John that you were totally gay for him? Un-ironically in love with the nerd? but i cant bring myself to type the words. What if he stopped talking to me? I cant live without him. Even if he only saw me as his best friend than i would be the best fucking friend he ever had))

EB: you're the best dave!

TG: im the best fucking friend ever ...

((friend. i wish i was more))

EB: i didn't recognize his girlfriend.

EB: i think she's blind.

TG: blind?

EB: yeah, she had these red glasses on and one of those canes blind people use.

TG: red converse black hair and call karkat some strange nickname

EB: how did you know?

EB: and have you met karkat? how did you know she calls him by a strange nickname?

TG: her name is terezi

TG: she was my best friend for a long time

TG: she moved away before i met you

TG: she has givin all of her bfs strange nicknames

EB: ...why couldn't she stay in texas?

EB: she had to come up here and break my heart.

TG: her dad got a better job offer out of state

TG: she does that

TG: breaking hearts is kind of her thing

EB: dave... i realy liked this one.

TG: maybe you just havent laid eyes on the guy for you yet

TG: like in person

EB: i get ya.

EB: i wish i could get away from all of this.

EB: knowing he's with someone else kind of hurts.

TG: you could come here

EB: i wish.

TG: away from all the drama

TG: i could fly you here

EB: that's a lot of money though.

TG: my bro is so rich he wipes his ass with hundreds

TG: its nothing to him

EB: you never told me this.

EB: wow.

TG: you never asked

TG: my bro is cool

EB: hehe sounds like it.

EB: i would love to come visit you dave!

EB: sleep over with dave! Hehe

TG: ill just ignore how super gay that sounded for a sec

TG: when is your winter break

TG: and you are still trying to convince me your only gay for one guy

TG: gay egdert

TG: homo

EB: love you too.

EB: asshole.

TG: like gayer than the neil patrick harris

TG: and hes just-

TG: i never knew you cared

EB: winter break starts on the 15th.

TG: how long is it

TG: until the 2nd

TG: like mine

TG: wanna stay for a week or something

EB: till the 3rd. they are evil like that and make us go to school that friday.

EB: that would be awesome!

EB: we are going to watch so many movies.

TG: just none of your lame ass movies

TG: something cool

TG: some fucking ironic shit

EB: my movies are not lame!

EB: and i require popcorn and soda.

EB: on our date to the strider theater.

TG: so you do want to date me

TG: i knew it all along egbert

TG: no one can resist a strider s charm

EB: i just couldn't resist your strider charm.

TG: not for ever

EB: haha all kidding aside dude. i'm excited!

TG: you are getting a hard on at the thought of snuggle with my hot piece of ass arent ya

EB: damn it dave.

TG: yes egbert

EB: you are just like your bro.

TG: yes i am

EB: going to have your own porn site some day.

TG: already do

EB: ...

EB: realy?

TG: send me a picture

EB: wow dude... um.

TG: right now

EB: well i just got back from school and i'm tired...

TG: come on

EB: pushy.

TG: i want to see your sexy face right now

EB: awkward dude.

EB: but okay. One best bro pic coming up.

ectoBiologist sent pic "bestbropic..jpg "

TG: this is my porn site

TG: this chat log

TG: with your sexy face all over it

EB: dave... i don't even know any more.

EB: and you owe me a best bro pic too.

TG: know if your straight

EB: pic for pic.

TG: ok

((I took off my shirt and set my webcam to take a picture. Right as the short count down ended I smirked. I checked the pic before I sent it to him. The pic showed from just above my ironic sunglasses to my hips and the top of my shorts. "Perfect."))

TurntechGodhead sent pic "onlyforyou..jpg "

EB: ah, my dad is calling for dinner.

EB: thanks for the pin up dude.

TG: stroke it as you touch yourself at night moaning my name

EB: geez dave. i think most of this conversation was you fake flirting with me. it's a new record.

EB: talk to you later.

ectoBiologist ceased pestering TurntechGodhead

TG: who said it was fake


	3. Chapter 3

TurntechGodhead began pestering ectoBiologist

TT: John

TT: i guess your not on

TT: i wanted to tell you something

TT: but its not important

TT: later

TurntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist

I guessed I had just missed John leaving for the airport. The one day I get up the courage to even mention it and he won't be on. And in eight hours, I will see him in person. I could never tell him to his face.

When I laid eyes on John, for the first time as he exited the gate, my stomach did a flip and I almost forgot my poker face to smile at him, almost. He was smiling as he saw me, a cute perfect smile. John Egbert, how I wish I could've kissed you in that moment. Instead of my wish, you wrapped your arms around my neck and let me hug you.

The last 72 hours are a blur. I remember Bro buying us alcohol, John being cool with drinking and me telling Egbert I loved him. Oh God how I wish I could forget. My head spins as I wake up. John is next to me, still sleeping. I snuggle closer to him not waking him. For just a few moments, I can pretend I got my wish granted and John is mine. The night before returns is flashes. I remembered telling John I loved him and asking to kiss him, but he thought I was joking and 'fake' flirting again.

I sighed away the drunken memories from the night before and place my forehead on the back of John's shoulder pulling my knees behind his. My hand on his hip, thumb under his shirt. Yes for a few moments, Dave Strider got the one he loved. In that short time, John was mine. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I didn't want to move from my position holding him. And for a moment I let my walls down and smiled.

John lets out a long sigh as he slowly regains consciousness. I stiffened slightly. Afraid my movement had woken the dark haired boy. Afraid that my one perfect moment was over. John flexed his muscles as he stretched under my hand letting out another sleepy sigh.

"Mmm not a teddy bear Dave." He mumbles almost inaudibly, an amused snort escaping him.

"hmmm." I hummed sleepily not wanting to leave my dream.

"I didn't think you would be a snuggler. I have blackmail on you now." He rolls over dislodging my hand and blows a puff of air into my face, disturbing my bangs.

"Only with you." I glared as the breath disturbed my bangs and rolled over to put my glasses over my eyes before opening them to the brightness of the room.

John's eyes widen at the brief flash of red. "Dave! You're eyes. How!? That's so cool." He reached out to try to grab the trademark Strider eye wear away.

I flinched when John saw my eyes. Those freak eyes. I saw John's hand move to take my glasses. My hand was faster catching John's hand as the blue eyed boys fingers brushed the frames gently. John struggles a bit in my grip.

"Let me see them again. Your eyes are so cool! Why do you keep the shades on if your eyes are this awesome? It's like... you're the bad ass hero of a video game or something!"

"My eyes are freaky, John. You don't need to see them again." I held John back with relative ease. Part of me wanted to let go. Let John take my shades off to uncover my red eyes. Just once to let someone in and maybe just maybe things would work out, but my fears wouldn't let me. I slowly pushed John's hand away.

John stuck his lower lip out slightly in a pout. "I think it's cool. You could probably get your nerd girl with those hot eyes. Do you have any Advil? I have a bit of a headache after last night."

"Yeah." I got up and starting shifting things on my desk. I find the Advil and toss it at John. "I've tried. My crush will never love me back."

John fumbles the Advil a little before getting a hold on it. "Dave, you are my best friend and are helping me through my love life. The least I can do is help you with yours. No one says no to my bro."

"He already said no." I said falling back on my bed. I wanted more than anything just to return to that few moments where I held the love of my life in my arms.

"...Dave?"

"yeah?"

"When did she get a sex change?"

"I never actually told you if I liked a girl or not. You just assumed it was." I closed my eyes. Trying to keep myself under control. I wanted more than anything just to be on top of John, kissing him.

The dark haired boy sat in stunned silence for a couple of heart beats. "T-that's no reason why he should have said no... you're DAVE FUCKING STRIDER!" He yells a bit louder than he intended.

"I am Dave fucking Strider...hey john?" I didn't move, but opened my eyes to look into John's bright blue ones.

John couldn't tell what I was thinking through my poker face and the ever present dark sunglasses.  
"Ah... yes Dave?" He tilts his head to the side slightly in a horrible attempt to see my eyes again.

"Hypothetically speaking. Am I cool enough for you to date me?" I wanted to remove my shades and stare into John's endless blue eyes, but my hand faltered brushing against the frames and then continued moving under my head.

John gives me a calculating look for a minute before his setting his face into a determined frown.  
"You are cool enough to date anyone Dave! You would be way out of my league. You are attractive, your sunglasses give you kind of a mysterious look, you are always so chill when others would be freaking out. You have fucking sword fights on the roof with Bro! That's awesome. MY Dave doesn't question how cool he is you impostor, now give him back. Hehe."

"Your Dave? Who said you owned me? Not that I'm complaining." I lifted my head at the "my Dave" words exiting John's mouth. The way that Egbert said my name sent butterflies through my stomach. Of all the sounds in the world, John's voice was by far the best. I just wanted to tell John how I felt. Make it so obvious that John couldn't deny it. I wanted to kiss John, touch his skin, anything. I took a deep breath to calm the thoughts boiling inside of me and tried to put that arrogant smirk back on my face like my confidence could never shatter.

"Pft. I've owned you since forever Dave. You are my personal DJ." A wide grin splits his face. "I am kind of surprised that you like a guy though, but since I like a guy I can't really say much. Now we are gay together!" He snickers a bit at the last part having slightly gotten over the realization that he was gay or at least bi. "Your crush better watch out before I steal you for myself haha."

"You can be gay with me. Right now if you wanted." I sat up. Losing the battle to control my actions and my hardening boner. I wanted just to kiss John and get it over with but I couldn't. I didn't want to lose my closest friend. I didn't want John to hate me. I couldn't live with myself if I pushed my love away. I was sitting up now. Hand over John's hand. "Please steal me for yourself." I whispered softly hoping John hadn't heard me speak those words. I tried to look John in the eyes but couldn't for very long and hung my head. Now looking at the hand that covered John's.

John felt odd for a moment. Like he had missed a step going down the stairs. Huh, that's odd. He leaned into Dave putting his head on the blonde's shoulder and wrapping his other arm around his friend's back.

"What did you say Dave? Being quiet isn't like you."

I wasn't expecting John to hug me or anything close to it. I swallowed down the nervous lump in my throat. Slowly and cautiously moved my hand to the back of John's head hold him gently in place. I fought with my chaotic thoughts and feelings before finally making up my mind.

"I said. Egbert. 'Thanks for being my friend.'" I hated myself the moment the words left my lips. Those were not the ones I had decided upon saying. I had wanted to repeat exactly what I had said before. Hoping that John would get the meaning and kiss me, but that hope started to die when I finished speaking.

I had just friend zoned myself.


End file.
